The Untouched
Nothing filled my mind with the scent of delight, as something went flying through the window of my bruised heart; the moment when he happened to me was the bliss I am still hanging by.
That scent, it recognized swiftly; like a wandering soul found abode in the heaven, like a cold
and untamed river splashed the unbounded sea, got quenched. He held my attention, my soul
wanted to embrace him, my arms extended for him never went tired, flange dreaming to caress upon his, pluck and wear that scent which has enslaved my nerves. I was losing control. Day by day, it was paralyzing me, I was hooked and braced to summon to his gleaming eyes, that supple smile, those yearning words and that enticing body. I was becoming him, he was all around, and like an endless, unbroken thought he was very bit of me. The commotion of my heart was silenced, it made room for his voice to outshine, my eyes seeking peace in him, looked nowhere else; I was breathing again, I was alive.
and untamed river splashed the unbounded sea, got quenched. He held my attention, my soul
wanted to embrace him, my arms extended for him never went tired, flange dreaming to caress upon his, pluck and wear that scent which has enslaved my nerves. I was losing control. Day by day, it was paralyzing me, I was hooked and braced to summon to his gleaming eyes, that supple smile, those yearning words and that enticing body. I was becoming him, he was all around, and like an endless, unbroken thought he was very bit of me. The commotion of my heart was silenced, it made room for his voice to outshine, my eyes seeking peace in him, looked nowhere else; I was breathing again, I was alive.
Then flared the day when my longings were out in open, he was there looking over me, pouring nectar of the dead flower, rejoicing every strand. Held in his folded arms, I was the spring waiting to bloom.
That is all I ever dreamt of, but with the one he was not,
the one who ran over the chimeras was all mine, he pulled, grabbed, teased, loved
but that scent; it vanished in the qualms and the river went brine.
"I am not momentary, recognize me" my heart twinge, my soul screamed in anguish. I wasn't hurt. I was burnt with flames unknown, my innervations mutilated, and the warmth turned cold. I wanted to run, run away far from that blaze; that discomfort was beaming out the wrath in me; the music of love was muzzled.
I gazed that moment, rewound it thrice, it sealed my fate, with nothing to gain but sacrifice.
I looked him still, his fidelity has no price,
I was fastened to believe, to hold or to mislay him trice.
Again, I dressed up, cleared the wound, closed that verve and pulled back the audacity, I stood calm and cold. I was abandoned in a faraway land; I teetered like a quivering wind, afloat like a hollow plank in the ocean of my dead dream. Nonchalantly of late, I recovered the placid mind, far from the fondness I found him beyond, on the other side.
A friend he said, a true ally who will keep my secrets and help me fly.
Once the passion became a mere lie, empty were the days, gone are the butterflies.
But that scent, it hovered the nights, dreaded with thoughts of his deserting me in mid flight.
I banked on him for his true words, plausible and gratifying warm affability as if I never want
him to bereave me, but never wanted to accompany.Once again, I was naked with all the vulnerabilities that ripped me apart,
the snapped hopes gaining life with a blanch in my heart.
I am still glued with the remorse of his never loving me or maybe never realizing he did. I was the glee, he never wanted to detach but never tightened the grip, I still remember how his eyes searched me in abundance, how he desired for me, but never affirmed, I remember how he attended my madness for him, how deeply he kissed me, how warm his affection was. I never confessed that I saw him differently, that his words were verse for me, that I longed to listen more, care more, and love more. I never surrendered and never loosened the grip.
I still remember how he turned his eyes away from me whenever he took her name, I remember how admiringly he gaped at her picture, I remember how it felt whenever I saw him lost in her thoughts, how he pursued her, how he loved her.
Few stories never end and few never begin. For this was left moot, betwixt and in between.
I was not jealous; I was ashamed, abashed, silenced and untwined.
I raved unexplored, blossomed in spring which was never mine, not defined.
Maybe he was unknown, maybe naive in the stark light that he was treading on in fright.
I exclaimed, I warned, I beheld and I cried. I wanted him to stay, to listen to my plight.
One day, one night; all that changed was out of my sight.
I asked myself if all I do is wait, if he will ever be back, will ever be mine.
For me he was the moon, in the night that may never shine.
I dreamt, I loved, I craved and I repent. All I met was the end, I never wished but destined.
For me who loved the love in him, I prayed for the unaccomplished and beseeched the might.
My love was somber and he was the untouched light.
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